Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Never assume, always ask

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get
some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'

Monday, June 28, 2010

Rajnikant v/s Amitabh

Rajnikantwas bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, "You know, I know everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.

Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said.

So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts: --- "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was
Just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says

"President Obama", Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts - "Yes", Rajini says, "I know him.

And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, :----"Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way
to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of
coffee first and catch up".

Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally onvinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to
name anyone else.

"The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies

"Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope a long time".

Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican .. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a
heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to Amitabh Bachan's side,

Rajini asks him, "What happened?"

Amitabh Bachan looks up and says,

"I was doing fine until you and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said - "Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Grandma in court

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair.

Understanding women

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a
sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky
clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because
you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you
one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime
I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the
enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required
to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would
take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for
worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish,
a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I
wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside,
what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why
they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can
make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want single or double lane on that bridge?"

Love stuff

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on.
One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
and how lucky he is to have YOU... 
The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...

And if he had to choose between loving you, and breathing, he would use his last breath to say I Love You.

Friday, June 25, 2010

33 facts about guys

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
9. When a girl says 'no', a guy hears it as 'try again tomorrow'....... so true.
10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
11. Guys love their moms.
12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.
18. Guys are very open about themselves.
19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... very true.
23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
24. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
25. Guys think too much.
26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.
27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does! ... very true.
28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
32. Guys hate girls who overreact.
33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Doesn't this all make sense?

Dedicated to married men

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever


Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.


Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you


Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.


Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents


Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!


Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again


After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

Letter from heaven

A man checked into a hotel.

There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:


My Loving Wife

Subject: I've reached

Date: January 31, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here; we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you

Loving Hubby..

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Why read "Bhagavad Gita"

An old Farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson.

Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Bhagavat Geeta. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, 'Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavat Geeta just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavat Geeta do?'

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied,
'Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.'

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, 'You'll have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again.

This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.
The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water.
You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.

The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, 'See Grandpa, it's useless!'

'So you think it is useless?' The old man said, 'Look at the basket.' The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

'Son, that's what happens when you read the Bhagavat Geeta. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out . That is the work of Krishna in our lives.'

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sense of humour of God

God was in the process of creating the universe.

And he was explaining to his subordinates

"Look everything should be in balance.

For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States.

I have blessed them with prosperity and money.

But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature.

But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests.

But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would

have to cut off the forests...

So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.

One of the angels asked...

"God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"

God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA",

My most precious creation.

It has understanding and friendly People.

Sparkling streams and serene mountains.

A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.

Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....

The angel was quite surprised:
"But god you said everything should be in balance."

God replied --

"Just Look at the neighbours I gave them."

Killing with English

  • Principal to student - " I saw you yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? " 
  • Class teacher once said - "pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!" 
  • Once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."
  • "Don't try to talk in front of my back"
  • Don't laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
  • It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said - "why is fan not oning" (ing form of on) 
  • Teacher in a furious mood - "write down ur name and father of ur name!!"
  • My manager started like this - "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids" 
  • "Will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
  • Librarian scold ,"If you talk again, I will kneel down outside."
  • Chemistry HOD comes and tells us - "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter" 
  • "Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?"
  • Upon seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class - "Keep quiet, the principal has just passed away"

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

In love

Every time that I see you
I fall in love
with you

Friday, June 18, 2010

Sharing happiness

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths, only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A few love quotes to remember...

"Love means never having to say you are sorry"

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."

"When love is not madness, it is not love."

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly."

"If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips."

"Love is not singular except in syllable."

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."

"For you see, each day I love you more
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow."

"Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. "

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

"When I say, 'I love you,' it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman."

"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete. "

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Path that we walked
Time that we spent 
Words that we spoke
I shall cherish them in my heart

But, A life without you
Rainbows with no hue
Morning with no dews
Where do I keep them ?

Feelings that had groomed
Spans shared in the room
Sweet kisses exchanged
I shall cherish them in my heart

But, Lost guts to start again
Frailty to bear the pain
Wounds chiseled in vain
Where do I keep them ?

Love we had shared
Space that we gave
Fathom that we had
I shall cherish them in my heart

But, Emptiness in my heart
Feelings teared apart
Loneliness on my part
Where do I keep them ?

Moments of intimacy
Closeness of the bodies
Silence of our lives
I shall cherish them in my heart

But, Unrequited questions
Unbridled aggressions
The unsinful repressions
Where do I keep them ?

Image courtesy:photobucket.com

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Meaning of love

Every word
that defined Love
has only one meaning
for me...

Image courtesy: deviantart.com

The Mirage

The moments we spent together
which once seemed so unreal,
and made us so happy,
have now turned into

Image courtesy: uoregon.edu

Friday, June 11, 2010

i hate love storys!!

Kuch khaab dekhe hain Kuch rang soche hain
Ab maine kal apne Tere sang soche hain

Is raah me jab bhi Tu saath hoti hai
Kisson ke panno si Har baat hoti hai

Rooh jo hui meri fida To pal me uthi koi sada
Ke dil se hua juda juda Toota mai is tarah

Sadka kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua
Sadak kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua

Tere mudne se sooraj mud gaya Tere roshni ke saaye meMai dhoop si khili
Mera aasmaa bhi chhota pad gaya Mujhe jab se hai baahon me teri panaah milee

Wo thehri teri adaa adaa Ke ruk bhi gaya mera khuda
Tu mujhpe hai ye asar hua Toota mai is tarah

Sadka kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua
Sadka kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua

Kuch khaab dekhe hain Kuch rang soche hain Ab maine kal apne

Teri khushboo me bheege khat mile Teri rang ke siyahi se likhe padhe sune
Teri baaton ke wo saare silsilay Meri dil ki kahani se kahe sune bune

Mai kar sakoon bayaan bayaan Ke chupp se hui meri zubaan
Ye dil mehmaan hua  hua Toota mai is tarah

Sadka kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua
Sadka kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua

Kuch khaab dekhe hain Kuch rang soche hain
Ab maine kal apne Tere sang soche hain

Is raah me jab bhi Tu saath hoti hai
Kisson ke panno si Har baat hoti hai

Rooh jo hui meri fida To pal me uthi koi sada
Ke dil se hua juda juda Toota mai is tarah

Sadka kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua
Sadka kiya yun ishq ka Ke sar jhuka jahan deedar hua...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

In this love...

In this love

Did you kept nudging me
or did I jolted you

Either ways the crime
has been accomplished
We both have fallen
fallen in love

I have stumbled
once again
but lost my valor
to bear more pain

Now that its causing
sweet bitter spasm in heart
Still I refuse to give up
just for you

I know you'll come to me
We'll walk together, again
Into our new world

Till then, my dear,
I choose to lay back
And see the world
just as mute spectator

Image courtesy: wordpress.com

Monday, June 7, 2010

Lets stay together... Forever

Away from this messy world

A beautiful place for you to live
Is my Heart

A beautiful place for me to live
Is your Heart

Come lets stay together
In each others heart
Close to each other

Forever, forever, forever...

Image courtesy: pixdaus.com

Sunday, June 6, 2010

World of happiness

I never left you and I never hid from you
All I needed was time for our world to hue

And I am here only, standing right next to you
Waiting for you to open eyes and turn around

See the beautiful world I have created for you
That I have put through all my heart, my soul

A world where happiness is the only treasure
I offer this to you my love, with my pleasure

Image courtesy: rediffland.com

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Waiting for you...

I thought its long way we'd walk together
And life could not be any happier
I am waiting, for you to come....

Image courtesy: photoreview.com.au


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